Stress
By: Keith
Stay at home parents know all too well what it is to have a stress filled life. Those of us who home school are well acquainted with stress also. Taking care of kids at home all day is undoubtedly a stress filled job – even if other people don’t see it. I have a friend who owns his own company and works pretty hard himself. He has on several occasions told me how much he understands my occasional stress. He uses the fact that he is responsible for 40 employees as proof that he knows the stress of being a parent. I have, when he goes down that road, told him, in the plainest terms I can, what a stupidly ignorant thing that is to say. Yes, having employees is stressful because he is, indeed, responsible for their well being. But, it’s nothing even remotely similar to parenting and home schooling. He and I live in separate worlds. He experiences high stress, and I experience high levels of stress, but they simply aren’t the same thing and can’t be compared. Being a parent certainly spawns its own variety of stress. What is the remedy for that kind of stress? When we stay at home parents have a rough day where do we go to relieve stress, and what do we do? I have a few ideas that would work for a person like me. I’d be curious to know what other people do.
Endurance Sports
I have experience a runner’s high on many occasions. It happens after any intense endurance event when endorphins are released into the brain. The resulting feeling of euphoria is what’s known as a runner’s high. It’s the same feeling that drugs illicit but without the use of illicit substances. It shouldn’t be a surprise that people use running and exercise for stress relief. It is my go-to activity after a long day of screaming kids and not being able to teach basic addition to a stubborn 5 year old. Any endurance activity will do – swimming, running, biking, and sometimes even walking (I’m not usually willing to walk 20 miles though). People who have felt this runner high know what I am talking about. We may seem crazy to people who haven’t felt it, but we know how much these sports help our mental health.
Fighting Sports
Punching things is normally only considered a guy thing. Plenty of women like kicking the crap out of things too. My wife and I used to teach Muay Thai, Karate, and Kickboxing when we lived in Texas. We owned an academy and held classes daily. The composition of the classes was a healthy mix of both women and men. I was interviewed once by a local newspaper along with several of my students. The interviewer asked the students and me why we trained in martial arts. The women all said it was for stress relief and only a few of the men said it was to prepare for competition. Obviously, people typically do no practice martial to compete or to fight on the streets. They mostly do it for stress relief. It’s an unscientific observation, but it fits with my belief that people just want to let out their frustrations in constructive ways. If anybody wants to experiment with a martial art most academies allow perspective students to sit in on a class and watch. I recommend it to anybody who just wants to let out a little anger without hurting someone who isn’t already expecting to get hurt.
Tea and a Book
There is a mood enhancing, muscle relaxing amino acid that is found in some teas (specifically matcha tea). It’s called Theanine. Tea also contains caffeine which stimulates the brain. The combined result is increased brain activity with a relaxed, meditative feeling. It’s the perfect recipe for sitting before a fire for a good read. Anybody who manages to get the kids out of the house for even half an hour will enjoy sitting with a good bowl of tea and a book. A whole day’s worth of stress can be relieved by means of tea and books. My wife takes the boys out once or twice a week just so I can get some free time to read and relax on my own. It is a welcomed and necessary break which I look forward to every week.
Yoga
Yoga was created as a means to relax both the mind and the body. The down side to yoga, in our modern society, is how expensive it is at all these new-age yoga studios. I investigated going to a yoga class here in Boulder, and I found it isn’t affordable. Luckily I don’t care for snobby hippies who charge an arm and a leg for something I can probably do better by myself anyway. I own a number of Yoga DVD’s which I use two or three times a week. I’ve seen the people coming and going from these Yoga studios, and I’m sure they’re not learning anything I haven’t already learned on my own. My point is that yoga does not have to be mysterious or elite. Everybody should be able to do it regardless of their economic situation with or without all the fancy outfits. Yoga is for everybody just like running, lifting weights, and the fighting sports are for everyone. When I finish an hour long session of yoga I feel limber, tingly (that’s a technical term) and relieved of whatever stress I went into the practice with.
There are doubtlessly other things that people do to relieve the stress of a long parenting day. Stress, no matter the source, has similar remedies. My friend who works like crazy at his business can get the same benefit that I, as a stay at home dad, get. Our sources of stress are different but the cure is all the same. I want to know what other people do for their stress. Do they eat cake or ice cream? Do they hammer nails or otherwise build things? I know of someone who rides a motorcycle when he’s feeling stressed. The bottom line here is that everyone has problems, and stay at home parents are right there with everyone else with that issue. Everybody needs a way to cope. What’s your way?
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I’ll still trade you. Yours has enduring rewards and many joyous moments. Your job helps form a life and ours a living. I relieve stress by self-medicating the 60′s way.
Ooh, cartoons…
Another great article! I hate it when people say, “I don’t know how you manage.” Meaning staying sane and relatively fit. I want to tell them to try something other than a quart of ice cream to relieve stress. Maybe I will next time. Chances are I’d get the best of them in a fight, and I could surely out run them. LOL
I home educate an only child. I find the fastest way to get some space from stress is to borrow some children from somewhere else.
Blessed relief, aside from providing refreshments and refereeing the occasional disagreement I get to sit down and indulge in a couple of hours of debate. Which sounds like it should raise my blood pressure rather than lower it, but actually I feel much more relaxed after a verbal (well,more accurately… typed) joust. It recharges my box of patience which rarely lasts a whole day without being depleted and going into debt.
We all experience stress from time to time, regardless of what we do for a living. It’s as easy to stress about personal finances as it is to stress about the profits of your company. Try to put things in perspective and don’t lose sight of the big picture.