Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

Stay at home dads are going to hell by Reverend Hagee

The public perception of stay at home dads is that of a group of guys who can’t find jobs and have no skills so they decided to stay at home with their kids.  That perception is crap, and the people who perpetrate it are self aggrandizing idiots.  Women have been complaining about the unjust opinions of ignorant men since the beginning of time.  Only recently have certain men come to realize just how righteous women have been.  However, as with any stereotype, there are reasons people believe what they do.  There are parents who are lazy.  There are parents who sit and watch TV all day and don’t take care of their homes.  There are also office workers who are shiftless and lazy.  It’s human nature that is to blame, not our job titles.  It is also lack of appreciation for our various functions in life that is to blame.  The amount of money one earns is disproportionately responsible for the weight of that persons opinion.  Those who earn more money are given more respect regardless of their intelligence, goodness, or depth of experience.  Women have been right to cry foul at men who belittle their achievements as little more than ancillary support to their own success.

Self Preservation

Being in a respected position that is based almost entirely on perception rather than reality requires a lot of self preservation.  We all know that men are not more intelligent than women.  Yet, there is abundant evidence, before women’s liberation, that points to rampant sexism in the workplace and the perpetuation of the myth that women were intellectually inferior.  Intellectual superiority was the reason most men gave for retaining positions of authority and the excuse they used to keep women out of the workplace.  Each time the glass ceiling cracked, that myth deteriorated more.  Now women make up almost 50% of the workforce and 12% of all corporate officers.  The statistics are still slanted heavily towards men as officers, but there is enough of an impact by women to completely dispel intelligence as a factor.  The tactics used for self preservation these days are just as insidious.  No longer is it a matter of intelligence.  There is an attempt by some to reverse the stay at home dad trend.  They would like to reclaim the office as a man’s sanctuary.  They are traditionalists and religious conservatives.  Why would it be that only men are called lazy for staying at home with their kids?  Could it be that we threaten the perpetuated lie that working in the office is more challenging?  We know the truth.

It’s a Calling

There are certain things that people are good at by nature.  I happen to be a freakin’ genius when it comes to kids.  Yeah, I said it.  I’m a really good parent.  There are not many people who can do what I do.  The bottom line is that I know it is a gift.  It’s a gift just like being a fast runner is a gift, or being good with numbers, or being a good poet.  My gift is empathizing with kids.  It is my calling.  A friend of mine is a bit of a savant in the area networking and social media.  I am always surprised at his complete mystification as to why I choose to stay with my kids.  He thinks I should be out making tons of money and that my failure to do that is a weakness.  I knew a long time ago what I was meant to do.  Naturally a person is capable of success in more than a single vocation, but for now my place is with my kids.  There is no amount of cajoling that will persuade me otherwise.

Wealth

There are two ways most people measure a persons worth in this world.  The first is wealth.  There is a lot to be said for the accumulation of wealth.  Heck, I am striving to accumulate wealth.  However, when ones wealth and level of public respect rise and fall in unison there is a serious problem.  I admire people like Richard Branson and Warren Buffet for their wealth.  I’m not about to call them wonderful people though because I don’t know that that’s true; I don’t know them.  The amount of respect I am able to give them is only correspondent to what I know about them.  I simply cannot make a judgment call beyond that.  There is almost no value in being a stay at home parent when the measurement is wealth.

Depth of Experience

The other way to judge worth is through a person’s depth of life experience.  I mentioned before that we all have gifts that we use to get through life.  Only a few can have a gift that also affords them material wealth.  The rest of us nevertheless have skills and experiences that deserve equal respect.  My friend who is good at networking and business might be on a faster track to riches but he is not moving more quickly toward depth of life experience.  His pursuit of material wealth is just one piece in what makes him a worthwhile person, it is a rather insignificant factor at that.  Being a good stay at home parent is of significant value when the yardstick is depth of life experience.

Public perception toward stay at home dads is somewhat unfair for a variety of reasons.  There exist people who would like to see women as the sole purveyors of home economics.  Religious conservatives are either unwittingly trying to cram women back in the closet or doing it in concert by accusing stay at home dads of laziness.  Either way it is inexcusable.  Women are not inferior to men in the workplace and men are not inferior to women as parents.  We have callings in life that are genetically inextricable from our person.  Some of us are blessed with multiple talents.  One skill that is not exclusive to women is the role of caregiver.  Our worth in the eyes of others will often be judged in direct correlation to what we earn, which is nothing.  Competent stay at home parents, whether they be men or women, bring something more to the table than money.  Something that is not so easy to cavalierly dismiss. 

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