I‘m sure we’ve all done some pretty stupid things that have inadvertently put our kids in a certain amount of danger. I was interested what some other websites had to say about how to act in certain emergency situations so I typed “parenting disasters” into Google. Well, I wasn’t surprised to find advice about emergency situations. However, it seems that what constitutes an emergency for some is not what I would define as an emergency. On the first click I came across an article about what to do if you lock your kid in the car by accident. To me that sounds more like an inconvenience than an actual disaster. Now, if you lock your kid in the car and walk away then that is a disaster, and you are a criminal. But the article was about what to do in the event you lock your child in the car while assuming you are concerned enough to do something about it. The following is a bulleted list of advice that parents.com provides in just such a predicament. It’s also helpful if you’re a comedian looking for some stand-up material.
You’ve locked your child and your keys in the car…
1. Call for Help. Call 911 and they can dispatch a locksmith.
2. No phone? Ask someone else for their phone – call 911.
3. Cover the windshield and windows with something so it doesn’t get too hot inside
4. Leave a gap in the covering so you can see your kid and your kid can see you.
5. Can’t get help? Break the window.
Okay, so is it clear what you should do? Someone spent time to write an article that otherwise could be summed up in one statement – Get your child out of the car before he/she dies. Is there a single one of us that is even remotely helped by the above information? I doubt it. As you read though these advice columns you’ll find that this is the quality of parenting tips available.
Let me tell you what I would do if my kid were stuck in the car with my keys and it was hot outside or he was distressed in any way. Step one. Break window. Step two. Retrieve keys. Step three. Drive to repair shop. Yup, that’s called an inconvenience, not a disaster or an emergency. Jeez, have these people been to Somalia recently? That’s a disaster AND an emergency. Locking keys in the car is something only an idiot considers important enough to worry about.