Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

Most young families will move several times early on – probably in search of a job.  It isn’t just the bad economy that drives us to seek new jobs and move.  Even in a good economy workers will sacrifice permanence for opportunity.  Employees don’t stay at the same jobs for 30 years anymore like our grandparents and parents did.  Invariably a job comes to an end.  And, the job search is nationwide.  Our society is more nomadic now than ever before, we go where there is opportunity.  Our families follow dutifully behind.  How does all the moving affect our families?  Do they suffer in any way, or is moving a healthy experience?  The results of frequent moving have been mostly positive for our family.  There have been times when I feel nostalgic for a city or miss certain people.  That cannot be denied.  However, what we have been gaining in return makes relocating worthwhile.

Consistency

Consistency is an argument for and an argument against making a move.  There are several good reasons not to move.  Everybody finds comfort in routine.  Something simple like going to the same coffee shop every day can lend solace to people.  Having a daily routine of friends and activities makes us feel purposeful.  But, consistency can also be bad.  It can cause us go stale.  It can lead to a reluctance to do what is best for our families in favor of sticking with something comfortable.  It is akin to slowly freezing on the tundra.  The longer one sits still the more unlikely it is that one will get up and move forward.  Our lives require change to keep us sharp.  Change can be geographical or it can be psychological.  Getting involved in new things and altering routine is healthy, and sometimes a move is just what the doctor ordered.

Friends

I have always wanted my kids to grow up with a tight-knit group of friends.  I don’t think it will happen.  We move too often for them to make solid friendships.  This is what I regret most about our constant moving.  But, even this very clear negative can be changed into something good with enough imagination.  We are strangers to our neighbors in every new city.  And that makes us more reliant than ever on each other.  Having a shortage of friends allows the boys to become best friends with each other.  Yes, it sounds sad, but it isn’t.  Even when they interact with groups of new friends they stick close to each other and protect each other.  They are able to play with other kids and enjoy themselves, but they know it is not permanent.  It’s easy with an abundance of friends to take siblings for granted.  My boys don’t have that luxury.  I imagine that as they grow their bond will not diminish.

New Adventures

It’s nice to move to a new place and learn all sorts of cool new things.  In the last five years we have moved twice within the state of Texas, once to Minnesota, once to Wisconsin, and once to Colorado.  And we haven’t made a repeat pass through any of our old towns.  Every move brings a new adventure.  Without these regular moves I would not have known how cold it can get in Minnesota and I might never have seen a Moose.  We would not have experienced what it’s like to live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains or been able to see just how a Wisconsin farm works.  We can honestly say our experiences exceed those of a common vacation.  For instance, I’ve been to Amsterdam, but I can’t say which pancake house is the best in the city.  We’ll be able to look back on our lives one day and say “yeah, I know what that’s like.”

Schooling

The boys need schooling.  Not being static makes traditional schooling impossible.  This is the reason I home school.  There was a time that I told my wife, “We ought to settle down before the kids get to school age.”  Then, when that didn’t happen, I took matters into my own hands and started teaching them myself.  I discovered that with a little patience and a little research it is not an impossible task.   They do miss out on some social interactions that other kids have, I’ll admit that.  What they get in return though is huge.  I recently read a quote that went like this: “A child educated only at school is an uneducated child…”  I thought about that and I recognize that for the education and socialization they miss in a traditional environment they make up for in travel and life experiences.  I would like them to have the friends and fun experiences that come with a public school.  But, that being said, I am happy with the trade.

There are many good reasons for moving.  The Military, Construction (our case), and Sales are the three most common professions that require habitual moving.  It isn’t just those three jobs that find themselves in states of flux.  Our modern times dictate that we all follow opportunities wherever they may lead.  This cultural shift, from what our parents experienced, compels our families to adapt.  We have to adjust the way we school our kids.  We also have to expect less consistency and security in our daily lives.  What we trade in security and comfort we gain in education and insight.  Relocating does not have to be a painful process if we give in to it and accept change. We adapt to our circumstances like optimistic people should – We make lemonade. 

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