Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

Being a Revolutionary Parent

14 Written by Keith on May 28, 2009 – 12:59 am

You don’t like to consider yourself one out of 6 billion, do you?  Even though it’s true that there are another 6 billion people in the world, you nevertheless prefer to see yourself as being unique, with a soul unlike any other.  Your reaction to stress might be similar to lots other peoples’, but not identical.  You might find some of the same things funny, but not just the same things. You like different food, different art. On and on. So you’re unique. I am and so are you. Doesn’t that also mean that your kid is, too? Of course. So why is it that I see parents conforming to what other parents do with their kids? Heck, there’s even a stereotype about it. They are called soccer moms, and they are my enemies.

Why do so many parents treat their kids like every other kid in the world?  Sure, these parents love their kids and they don’t love other kids (let’s be honest, it’s true), and that is certainly unique to their relationship.  But there seems to be this unwritten rule book concerning kids.  They can’t watch certain TV shows, they go to bed at 8, they have kid fashion, eat kid food, play kid sports etc…  It’s a never ending list of rules and stuff concerning a seemingly separate kid universe.  I think I know why this happens.  It happens because as parents we sometimes lack a spine.  We do what’s easy and acceptable rather than what’s specifically right for our kid regardless of what our neighbors are doing.

It isn’t just other parents that want your kid to conform.  It’s advertisers, too.  I found myself falling into this particular trap soon after our first child was born.  Our first stop after coming home from the hospital with him was to a Babies R Us.  We wanted to buy him some educational sorts of things that would stimulate his brain.  Well, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the kid was stimulated by rocks, dirt, tin cans, dead animals and a whole host of stuff that is free and available.  And still, knowing this, I continued through the years to buy products that would never get any use simply because I didn’t want to be seen as neglecting my kid.  I learned a lesson, as parents tend to do.  I learned that I was the one being neglectful by being more in tune with advertisers and advice from family and friends than I was with him. So I revolutionized my thinking.  I decided I would throw this handbook away and go it alone.

Lo and behold, it’s worked!  It’s such a relief to not care what other people are doing with their kids or what toys other kids are playing with.  It’s nice to buy the things my kids are interested in without thinking of how “appropriate” it might be.  It may seem like my attitude is too liberal, but let me be clear.  I don’t live my life to be different, I just live my life for my kids, and my kids happen to be unique individuals who have unique likes and dislikes and who may or may not want to participate in the same activities as their peers.  It’s just as simple as that.  I seems so simple to act in a way that is consistent with your own values and to live your life for yourself and for your kids, but it isn’t.  It’s revolutionary.