10 Essential Parenting Skills10 Habilidades esenciales para padres
By: Keith
Dr. Robert Epstein has done something interesting. He has, with the help of other researchers, compiled a list of the 10 most valuable parenting competencies. He gathered information from 2,000 parents who answered questions about their kids and who also took an online test that was designed by Dr. Epstein. There were 10 skills that were selected by Dr. Epstein for being the most predictive, according to published studies, of healthy kids. The answers given by the parents were evaluated by a panel of 11 parenting experts (whatever that means) that were unknown to Dr. Epstein, while he was, likewise, unknown to them (a double blind evaluation). The results took into account both the parents’ answers, as matched with conclusions from previously published studies, and the actual happiness of the kids about whom the questions were being answered. The product of the study was a ranking of the 10 skills by how well they predict a healthy parent/child bond balanced with mutual happiness. It should be noted that none of the skills are unimportant. They were all selected in the first place because they have published studies to back up their effectiveness. These are the ten most important skills ranked:
1. Love and affection: Do you happily and willingly spend quality time with your kid? How well do you support and accept your kid for who he is?
2. Stress Management: Do you practice relaxations techniques so as to reduce stress for both yourself and your kids?
3. Relationship Skills: This refers to your relationship with your spouse. Kids are deeply affected by strife, even if it isn’t directed at them.
4. Autonomy and Independence: How well do you encourage your kid to make independent decisions? Do you give him the respect necessary for him to be willing to try new things?
5. Education and learning: How many educational opportunities does your kid have? How well do you facilitate learning?
6. Life Skills: Are you equipping your kid with life skills that could provide him with an income if all else fails?
7. Behavior management: Positive reinforcement. Punish only when all forms of positive reinforcement have failed.
8. Health: Do you live a healthy and active life? How well is that modeled for your kids so they, too, grow an appreciation for health and fitness?
9. Religion: It has been shown that religious studies or some other spiritual training is helpful for mental well being.
10. Safety: The steps you take to ensure that no physical harm comes to your child. Do you protect him from pernicious online influences? Keep him away from bad neighborhoods?
What do you think? Is this a good list? Has Dr. Epstein and his researchers said anything you wouldn’t have already known or, having been made aware of this list, does it become clearer which things you need work on? I am strong in some areas and weak in 1 or 2 of them. I’d be willing to bet we can all see things we might be neglecting.
Source: November issue of Scientific American Mind Magazine
El Dr. Robert Epstein ha hecho algo interesante. El ha, con la ayuda de otros investigadores, compilado una lista de las 10 más valiosas aptitudes para padres. El recolectó información de 2000 padres quienes respondieron a preguntas acerca de sus hijos y quienes también tomaron un cuestionario en línea diseñado por el Dr. Epstein. 10 habilidades fueron seleccionadas por el Dr. Epstein por ser las que mejor pronosticaron, de acuerdo con los resultados publicados, niños saludables. Las respuestas dadas por los padres fueron evaluadas por un panel de 11 expertos en crianza (cualquiera que se que eso signifique) desconocidos por el Dr. Epstein, mientras que él fue, de la misma manera, desconocido para ellos (una evaluación ciega doble). Los resultados tomaron en cuenta las respuestas de ambos padres, emparejadas con conclusiones de estudios previamente publicados, y la verdadera dicha de los niños de quienes se referían las preguntas contestadas. El producto de este estudio fue la clasificación de 10 habilidades con respecto a qué tan bien predicen el bienestar del vínculo entre padre e hijo equilibrado con su mutua felicidad. Debe ser notado que a ninguna de estas habilidades le falta importancia. Todas fueron seleccionadas para comenzar porque todas tienen estudios publicados que respaldan su efectividad. Estas son las 10 habilidades más importantes clasificadas:
1. Amor y afecto: ¿Pasas, de buena gana, tiempo de calidad con tu hijo? ¿Hasta dónde apoyas y aceptas a tu hijo por quien él es?
2. Manejo de estrés: ¿Practicas técnicas de relajamiento para reducir los niveles de estrés tanto el tuyo como el de tus hijos?
3. Habilidades en relaciones: Esto se refiere a tu relación con tu cónyuge. Los niños son profundamente afectados por contenciones, aún cuando no son dirigidas hacia ellos.
4. Autonomía e Independencia: ¿Qué tan efectivamente estimulas a tu hijo a tomar decisiones independientemente? ¿Le das el respeto necesario para que él se siente confidente en tratar cosas nuevas?
5. Educación y Aprendizaje: ¿Cuántas oportunidades educativas tiene tu hijo? ¿Qué tan efectivamente facilitas el aprendizaje?
6. Habilidades para la vida: ¿Estás equipando a tu hijo con habilidades para la vida que le proveerán un ingreso si lo demás falla?
7. Manejo de la conducta: Refuerzo positivo. Castiga únicamente cuando todas las formas de refuerzo positivo han fallado.
8. Salud: ¿Vives una vida saludable? ¿Qué tan bien se lo presentas a tus hijos para que ellos, también, desarrollen una apreciación por la buena salud y condición física?
9. Religión: Ha sido comprobado que estudios religiosos o algún tipo de entrenamiento espiritual es beneficioso para el bienestar mental.
10. Seguridad: Los pasos que necesitas tomar para asegurarte que tu hijo no reciba ningún daño físico. ¿Lo proteges de peligrosas influencias del Internet? ¿Lo mantienes alejado de malos vecindarios?
¿Qué opinas? ¿Es buena esta lista? ¿Han dicho el Dr. Epstein y sus investigadores algo que tú no ya sabías o, habiendo visto la lista, has descubierto ciertas cosas en las que necesitas mejorar? Yo soy bueno en ciertas áreas y malo en 1 o 2. Te apuesto que todos nosotros podemos ver cosas que tal vez estemos descuidando.
Fuente: Tomo de Noviembre de la revista Mente Científica Americana
I would add consistency to the list.
Evo: Actually, now that you mention it, I would add consistency to the list also. I didn’t think of that, but it definitely seems like it should be there. Good call!
My first thought before I read the comments already attached was that I thought consistency was missing. I think consistency is one of the biggest things for parents, and it’s one thing I struggle with. This list gives me a few items to consider when it comes to my parenting.
I think it’s a good list… especially #1. Sometimes as Dads I think we wanna be too tough sometimes… it’s alright to be a sniveling crybaby sometimes.
Being a divorced dad, this list while containing good points is difficult to manage too. Take for instance #2. I am a very peaceful individual, enjoying quiet and serenity. Their mother, on the other hand, is a chaotic train wreck. Her normal communication style is usually between a medium rant to all out yelling.
After several days with her, I find that I need to spend most of the first day reprogramming them to the more tranquil place.
Top post. I am a firm believer in #5, education and learning. Those habits start early in life, so it’s super important. Wow, can see it’s not easy to be an All-Star mom or dad.
Interesting list. I definitely need to do better with #8 and I’m torn on #9. I was forced to go to church as a kid. My father insisted we go (but ironically enough he wasn’t the one that took us, our Protestant mother took us to a Catholic church) and the minute I turned 18 I was done with it. That being said I’ve had both of my children baptized and will allow them to decide how much or how little they would like to be involved in an organized religion.
I like the list. It would serve as a good reminder for me of the things I need to be mindful of. I feel like if you are truly filled with love and affection for your kid then all the others should fall in line. Putting your kid first in your life includes a lot of the other things.