Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

I don’t think I care much for Fathers’ Day.  I’ve been ambivalent about Father’s Day for a while, but this year I think I can safely say that I don’t like it.  I feel the same way about Mother’s Day.  What is it about these holidays that I don’t like?  Is it the commercialism?  The hokey celebrations?  Is it the forced family fun?  Yeah, it is those things.  But, most of all, it’s the assumption that by virtue of being a father one deserves a day of remembrance.  Let’s keep in mind that Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are official holidays; they are meant to honor all fathers and all mothers for their efforts raising kids, supporting their families, and otherwise being swell people.  I don’t agree that fathers and mothers should, or want, to be honored.  Good parents get accolades regardless of the day.  We all know that these holidays are mostly commercial enterprises.  If they weren’t then Father’s and Mother’s Day would be a private matter celebrated within the family – at home.  I think it’s time to cut the bull and get to the point. 

Those of us who do a good job know we are doing well; we don’t need a special day to remind us that we’re good parents. 

I feel weird even going out of the house on Father’s Day because I know I’m going to see the same spectacle I see every Father’s Day.  I’m going to see dads out with their families, walking around the mall, or eating at restaurants, or playing in the park, or having picnics.  I’m going to shake my head looking at the faces of these fathers and know instantly that they would rather be somewhere else.  The fathers who are active in their family’s lives (which describes a lot of the fathers I know) do the above mentioned things on a weekly basis anyway.  We always do those things, and much more.  Participating in Father’s Day is tacitly admitting that it is the only day that we are involved with our families. Most of the other dads I associate with aren’t the stay at home variety like me, but they are quite active with their families.  I find it somewhat insulting to fathers in general that the holiday has turned into a day to do something with the family rather than a recognition of the real sacrifices we are willing to make for our kids and wives. 

Why is there a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day? 

Is there some other biological entity that is responsible for producing children that I am unaware of?  Shouldn’t there be a Parent’s Day instead of two separate holidays?  Every year when Mother’s Day rolls around I have the same thought.  “Why in the hell do people make such a huge fuss over mothers and nobody seems to give a crap about fathers?”  If there is going to be a national holiday there should be a joint holiday.  That way fathers won’t get the shit end of the stick every year by having to live with the platitude of a holiday that Father’s Day has become.  My preference would be no holiday at all, but somehow, I think my bitching will not be taken to heart. 

The commercialism of the holiday is embarrassing. 

Hallmark should be sued by someone for all the senseless killing of trees going on for these stupid holidays.  Office memos have nothing on greeting cards when it comes to being wastes of paper.  Greeting cards get opened and then briefly read.  The recipient says something like, “Oh, thank you.  That was so thoughtful!”  Then, when nobody is looking, the card gets tossed.  The same applies to any present a kid picks out for their dad.  I know because when I was a kid I picked out the most god awful presents for my dad.  Weird ties that don’t match anything, mugs that say #1 Dad (or something equally silly), and every imaginable golfing related gadget and 5 dollar gizmo.  All dads want is a hug from their kids and some appreciation from their wives.  The commercialism is pathetic.

Not all dads are equal. 

I’m sorry to say it, but some dads just suck.  I know what it is like to work in an office.  I know, for instance, that there are a lot of hard working and ambitious people who work outside the home for a living.  But, there are also people who go to work and do absolutely nothing.  They spend their days gossiping and taking two hour lunch breaks at fancy restaurants.  Then they come home and sit in front of the TV for 4 hours, ignoring the family, and making their spouse prepare dinner for them as if they’d been in a coal mine all day.  And they have no awareness that their partners (usually wives) are the ones who have actually been at work all day.  Those are the bad fathers.  Those are the dads that should get no recognition at all.  The sperm donors.  Certainly not the majority – just some.

Father’s Day is a holiday that is not going to go away.  That being the case, there should be some improvements made.  My proposal would be to make a Parent’s Day.  The negative assumptions that people make about dads only being dads once a year has contributed to Father’s Day becoming a mere platitude with little significance.  The commercialism of both Mother’s and Father’s Day is a downright embarrassing spectacle.  Fathers should not be forced to receive stupid gifts from their kids when all they really want is loving appreciation.  And, although nobody likes to admit it, not all fathers are good fathers.  For that reason it should not be a blanket celebration. It should be recognized on a family by family basis.  I want appreciation from my family, not from the rest of the world.  Whenever they show they care about me I am happy; they usually show it more than once a year.

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