Jokes Kids Like: In Other Words, Stupid JokesChistes que les gustan a los niños: En otras palabras, chistes blancos
By: Keith
I‘ll admit it. I’m tired, and I’m feeling lazy. That means it’s time to reach back into my head and dust off some old, stupid jokes. I also have the dirty variety of jokes, but since this is a parenting blog I’ll try to keep it clean. I wouldn’t be me though if I didn’t also tell you something interesting about humor. Researchers in the Netherlands say that humor is the perfect remedy for depression. The brains (BRAINNNNS!) of depressed people are fixated on depressing thoughts. What these brains need is a good, complex joke. Jokes work by misdirecting expectations. They work because we’re surprised by the punch line. Depressed people can frequently snap out of their funk by redirecting their brainpower into understanding a joke. The more depressed a person is the more complex the joke needs to be to overcome it. Interesting, don’t you think?
Kid Jokes:
Q: Why did the guy get fired from the orange juice factory?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!
A penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What’s he look like?”
A magician was walking down an alley when he turned into a bar.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
“Knock Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Interrupting Cow.”
“Interrupting cow wh…” “MOOOOO!”
Two Fish are in a Tank. One fish says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this?”
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side
Q: Why did the next chicken cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the first chicken.
Q: Why did the third chicken cross the road?
A: Peer pressure!
Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?
A: Buy a pumpkin patch
Q: What’s the ratio of a pumpkins circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stomp out fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stomp out the burning ducks.
I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger – then it hit me.
Q: What’s brown and sits on a piano bench?
A: Beethoven’s first movement.
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill
Q: What’s black and white and laughing?
A: The penguin that pushed him.
Lo voy a admitir. Estoy cansado, y me siento flojo. Eso significa que es tiempo de buscar en mi cerebro y desempolvar algunos viejos chistes bobos. También tengo chistes de la variedad estúpida y pícara, pero como este es un blog para padres voy a tratar de mantener los chistes blancos. Pero no sería yo mismo si no tratara también de contarte algo interesante acerca del humor. Investigadores en los Países Bajos dicen que el humor es el remedio ideal para la depresión. El cerebro (¡CEREBROOOOOOOOO!) de las personas deprimidas está fijado en cosas deprimentes. Lo que estos cerebros necesitan es un buen chiste complicado. Los chistes funcionan desviando las expectativas. Funcionan porque sorprenden con la frase final. Las personas deprimidas pueden salir de su depresión al dirigir su poder mental en tratar de entender un chiste. Entre más deprimida esté una persona más complejo necesita ser el chiste para ayudar a salir de la depresión. Es interesante, ¿no lo crees?
Nota: Desafortunadamente los chistes son algo que no se puede traducir fielmente, estos requieren del juego de palabras en el idioma en que son creados y el sentido del humor de la gente que los escucha. Así que los siguientes chistes se mantuvieron en inglés para mantener su integridad y sentido del humor.
Chistes para niños (en inglés):
Q: Why did the guy get fired from the orange juice factory?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!
A penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What’s he look like?”
A magician was walking down an alley when he turned into a bar.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
“Knock Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Interrupting Cow.”
“Interrupting cow wh…” “MOOOOO!”
Two Fish are in a Tank. One fish says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this?”
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side
Q: Why did the next chicken cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the first chicken.
Q: Why did the third chicken cross the road?
A: Peer pressure!
Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?
A: Buy a pumpkin patch
Q: What’s the ratio of a pumpkins circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!
Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stomp out fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stomp out the burning ducks.
I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger – then it hit me.
Q: What’s brown and sits on a piano bench?
A: Beethoven’s first movement.
Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill
Q: What’s black and white and laughing?
A: The penguin that pushed him.
OHHH! I sure needed that! Thank you! I’ve been blue all day. The flaming ducks one got me. I laughed hard! I’m going to watch some comedians on Youtube for a bit now…..
Mitzi: It’s always nice to have a pick-me-up, isn’t it?
I was feeling a little glum today too, but every time I think of a good joke I feel a bit better. Glad I could help!
I gotta couple.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!!! D’oh!
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Little Old Lady.
Little Old Lady who?
Gee… I didn’t know you could yoddle!!
What’s the difference between an elephant and a loaf of bread?
I don’t know…
What? You don’t know the difference… you’re a real idiot.
Guffaw guffaw….
.-= Papa K´s last blog ..I’m Feeling A Bit Fluffy =-.
PapaK: LOL! I love jokes like these. They’re so stupidly enriching!
Thanks!
Ouch- you clearly have been listening to my son tell jokes.
.-= Jack´s last blog ..This Time =-.
waakkakakakakakakkakakaka
This very crazy
hi, i needed a laugh! real funny jokes!
be sure to post new ones every now and then.
from starfish
hahahahahahahaha,,,feel like a child its free.
IM 12 AND U KNOW WHAT, THESE ARE DUMB, accept the penguin and orange juice one