Talking About Race and Role Models
By: Keith
Should I talk about it? Probably not. But, I’m still typing so it looks like I’m going to. We all had role models when we were kids. Most of mine were white men – because I’m white and that’s who I identified with. That’s how it is and I’m not unusual. When Jeremy Wariner won the Olympic 400 meters I know there were hoards of little white kids around the country who suddenly became interested in becoming 400 meter specialists. When Eduardo Nájera started playing basketball at the University of Oklahoma and then later played for the Mavericks and Denver Nuggets, he had a legion of Hispanic kids following his games (not to mention the entire state of Chihuahua). And Shani Davis, the gold medalist speed skater, has inspired black kids who otherwise thought speed skating was only for white people.
Breaking Stereotypes:
I’m using athletics in all my examples here because that’s where the most visible cases of broken stereotypes are, regrettably. Most people don’t know who Guy Bluford is, and that makes him a difficult subject with which to illustrate my point. The most inspirational people are those who, regardless of race, do their thing despite the world telling them they can’t. Mike Tyson isn’t inspirational (at least not to me), but Jesse Owens and Jim Thorpe are. They did things that were exceptional and unexpected according to conventional wisdom at the time. What makes people inspirational isn’t that they do something great, it’s that they do something great that nobody expected.
We’re all Racist: Even If it Means Against Ourselves
At the heart of it we’re all a little racist that we consider anybody inspirational because of their race. It’s racist, but it’s racist against ourselves, which I think is a little funny. When I see Jeremy Wariner win a 400 meter race and I’m impressed, what I’m really saying is “Wow! That’s amazing that he did that — despite his race.” It’s not negative assumptions about other races, it’s the assumptions that our own race isn’t supposed to do what we’ve just seen them do that causes us to be impressed. I wonder how many people make the connection in their heads that we’re perpetuating the stereotypes other people have of our race without any outside assistance. There’s no reason Jeremy Wariner shouldn’t have won that 400 meter. He trained just as hard and had just as much chance as anybody else. Hell, there’s no reason a white guy can’t play great blues music. We shouldn’t be surprised when it happens unless we think there’s some reason he couldn’t do it in the first place.
Opportunity:
Jesse Owens came along at a time when segregation in the United States was as strong as ever, and he accomplished his gold medal performances in front of a stadium full of state sponsored racists. That is truly a case of defying odds that deserves recognition. These days though no such barriers exist. The black kids who are now motivated to be speed skaters because of Shani Davis have no legitimate reason to be any more impressed with him than Apollo Ohno, both of whom deserve all the attention they get. When there are political barriers or social barriers or personal barriers like illness then that is what really should drive us to be inspired. Race can play a part, but only in so much as we identify with that person because of something more than ethnicity.
When It’s not Racism:
None of us, or at least very few of us, mean to be racist. In fact, it’s only racism when we prefer one race over another for no other reason than race. But, sometimes we are inspired by stories that closely resemble our own. We identify with these people because they live like we live and they represent something we could become. I have almost nothing in common with Jeremy Wariner. I didn’t grow up in the same part of the country, I don’t have the same economic background as him, and he’s much younger than me. So having a preference to see him win is just a little racist (even though it’s not really intentional). But, what if he had grown up living a similar life to me and had some of the same struggles to overcome? Then I’d have a real reason to root for him. Lance Armstrong is an inspiration to millions because he overcame a disease that lots of people can identify with. Pele Grew up dirt poor and overcame a lack of equipment and opportunity to become the greatest soccer player ever. That’s inspirational to tons of people. That’s when rooting for someone of your own race is not racist (either against your own race or in favor of your race).
We Should Talk About Race:
White people have a hard time talking about race. We’re scared that saying anything will get us labeled as racist, and it frequently does. That, unfortunately, is not fair to our kids (or us) because we need to be expressing ourselves honestly to them so that they can learn something. In fact, there was a study done at the University Of California Berkley that confirmed that black and Hispanic families talk much more openly about race than do white families. Kids identify differences in race whether or not their parents talk about it. Thus, parents who don’t talk about race are leaving their kids’ education up to peer pressure and mass media, and that can lead to some pretty strong stereotyping. The issue doesn’t go away by plugging our ears, and it can even retrograde. By not truthfully and sincerely talking about our differences and putting it all in context we could be doing more harm than good.
It’s easy to look at someone who looks like us and think that it unites us in some way. It’s easy, but it’s also lazy. If you really want to root for someone for a good reason, look for a good story. If you want to teach your kids something about race then be honest. Yes, there are differences between ethnicities; we aren’t all the same. However, there’s nothing wrong with being different. Kids will look at someone who’s white (or whatever) like them and decide to root for that person instinctively because of their race. It’s not a bad thing, it’s an instinctive thing (it’s been tested and proven). But like with all things in life, kids are waiting to be taught; we’re human beings guided by reason, not by instinct. Kids will always find the explanation that makes the most sense to their developing minds. To them it’s perfectly reasonable to root for someone who looks like them. They just haven’t worked out a more logical formula. It’s up to parents to point out that, yes, our color is the most obvious difference between us. But there are other, more important, factors that should go into deciding who to idolize. That’s our job, to educate.
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YES! why is it white people have a hard time talking about race but find it so easy to utter the word nigger or them people and stereotype minorities by what they see on TV or read in the paper. No matter what anyone says, positive role models are important for children and people of ALL races. It is particularly important for black people because we do not generally see ourselves reflected back in much of society apart from in the most negative of ways. A shared experience is also important but we all, in part gain our sense of self from the outside and part of that is based on seeing people who look like you and, as a result, validate you, makes you feel worthy and that you exist and are important in society. The debate about race and role models misses a crucial point which is that every single one of us has role models. Whether or not they are good or bad is another story for me Mike Tyson works i understand his child hood and where he came from where Mike failed is he let society and stereotypes knock him back into who he was and not who he had become. . Role models are not handed down to children, instead children may or may not choose a hero from past, present or fiction. They choose them according to the achievements and character of the person concerned and i very seldom do i hear thats my role model because my parents said so. Im a firm believer that it starts at home role models to me are nothing but myths they dont hold water you can look up to people for various reasons but i bet you can find reason not to be like them. I could care less what im labeled as if i know what im teaching my children will help them in society. Black or white purple or green we can always find less fortunate and more fortunate some good and some bad. there are advantages and disadvantages to being black or white in america there is opportunity for everyone to succeed no matter where you come from or where you been yes its harder for some than for others be aggresive and go get what you want dont let ignorance be your blame or what you werent taught be an excuse its out ther for anyone to get and you dont need a role modle to get it
that was incredible.
i was born and raised in the SE but left it behind and moved to seattle to submerge myself in a sea of unfamiliarity in hopes of finding my natural bouyancy, as i put it at the time. i wanted to breathe my own air, think my own thoughts, and draw my own conclusions instead of inheriting them from a generation which inherited it from the one prior.
i moved back home after my dad died and have been here ever since. upon “re-entry” (and keep in mind, counting college i had been gone nearly 15 years), i was thrilled, blown away even, at the progess our provencial little town had made. yet the network is still a good ol’ boy one and i still hear many ugly things said from people who should know better, people who are leaders in our churches and in our community. that doesn’t change the fact that it’s gotten much, much better.
so much so that whenever our daughter tries to describe an asian, hispanic or african american she never mentions any type of skin description–not b/c she’s scared, not b/c she’s sensitive to being labeled a racist, not b/c she’s looking for a more recognizable characteristic, but because, quite literally, it’s the last thing that crosses her mind.
my point? your post was RIGHT ON, and i agreed with every word of it except, maybe for the last little bit. are our kids looking to be taught? you bet. can we set a good example by finding a story to pull for instead of a profile? no question. but i would contend that they’re further along than we give them credit for. i would contend that such progress is a reflection of our media, our music, and now, even our president. i would contend that it’s a reflection of our america.
i may be way off base with all that, and you may totally disagree. regardless of what i think, it doesn’t change the fantastic points you made in your post, nor does it change how much i enjoyed it. hats off.
.-= john cave osborne´s last blog ..The Driving Force =-.
Great blog post. You nailed a lot of important things in that article. I agree with many of your points. You took on the taboo topic and you nailed it. A lot of people have trouble swallowing the fact that it’s scientifically proven that you identify with your own race over another. But you also got the point across of what it is to be human in that it’s not about race, it’s about accomplishment and that’s exactly what we need to teach our kids.
Good stuff, thanks for sharing!
.-= Hal Hefner´s last blog ..WWDD? Highly suggest that every family adopt a pet =-.
I never thought of race as being equated as rooting for the underdog– and that being the underdog was really what makes an upset so unexpectedly satisfying. Good example: Susan Boyle.
.-= Dennis Yu´s last blog ..Amazon shuts down Colorado Affiliates =-.
I’m not racist– I hate everyone equally.
At whyzz dot com, the source for kid-friendly answers on how the world works, we’ve partnered with qualified experts (including Multiracial Sky and NutureShock) for talking tips and advice on discussing race with kids ages 4-7:
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Keith,
Wonderfully written piece. Just great. I had 4 people tell I needed to read this post and I’m glad they did. Growing up where I did in rural PA, there wasn’t a lot of ethnic diversity, and because we fear what we don’t know, the prevailing stereotypes formed our outlook. When I got to the Army, it was a complete shock to be around kids from the inner city and from the boarder. There were a lot of fights until the DI pulled us all together by reminding us the only two colors we need to remember was that we all wear green and we all bleed red. That stuck for life.
Again, great post.
I think that what your talking about is an honest discussion of race and race relations. This can be difficult for all racial or ethnic groups because-in general-people think that their views and experiences are the correct one.
Lately a more shrill supposedly anti racist community has made appearances on numerous blogs, books and on our college campuses. Their main focus is the idea of “white privilege” and their rather simplistic belief is that when there is no more white privilege the world will revert back to a stage of justice and equality. Their language is of the totalist variety-thought terminating cliches such as :” colonialist, patriarchal white male, imperialist and the exploiting classes (there are more). Of course white privilege can’t be defined but that is exactly their point. Through some strange metamorphisis privilege is linked to racism and since those with privilege are white-all whites are racist.
Not surprisingly those who post to complain about whitey are often quite successful (not one cardboard holder in the group); but they are all linked by one idea, and that is, somehow, somewhere they have been oppressed, ignored or had their feelings hurt.
Some of the posts are quite interesting. One noted that white couples who adopt children of color need to tell their child that:” at one time in history white people enslaved and colonized his/her relatives; another wrote that: “even before the day Obama was inaugerated that {they}-meaning white people-would not allow it.
Will racism ever end, probably not, but we can lessen its effects with listening and honest communication and not with uglyness of group guilt.