Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

HH

Some people are habitual liars and thieves, but those people are rare.  Most of us are only partially naughty at heart, and we’re only a little selfish.  Have I stolen before?  Yup. Will my kids steal something at some point?  You betcha!  Are we bad people?  No, and I would say we’re actually pretty decent as people go.  So what’s the big deal about stealing?  Well, it’s a big deal because not all stealing is the same despite what some people will say.  Most kids steal as a matter of growing pains and experimentation.  Other’s steal because they’re just rotten kids without direction.  Much like Robin Hood though I can argue that stealing is a matter of legal semantics.  It’s a matter of perspective.  Even by legal terms not all stealing is created equal (grand theft auto is different than petty larceny).  So why do parents freak out so much about minor ethical transgressions by their kids?  Probably because they’re fearful of what could happen if the behavior is not corrected.  If parents didn’t show any concern then I’d be worried.  My argument is that the chances of a kid becoming a lifelong thief because of a stolen pack of gum are not big enough to spend too much time fretting over it.  It’s right to show concern and to teach good ethics, but it isn’t necessary to get overly preoccupied about it and treat the kid like a career criminal prematurely.

What is Stealing?

Stealing is a legal term.  It’s when the law says you’ve taken something that doesn’t belong to you.  There are problems with the word from an ethical standpoint though because we need to define the idea of possession.  If I steal something from you but nobody else sees then, according to the law, I didn’t steal.  But, if you take it back and someone sees you then you’re suddenly in trouble.  Did you do wrong?  No.  But the law says you did and public perception says you did.  What if the laws are unjust and designed to favor an elite few?  The law itself is wrong. We should be worried more about ethics with our kids than the law.  It isn’t wrong just because it could technically be stealing.  It’s wrong when an innocent person gets hurt.  Just because the law says you did wrong doesn’t actually mean you did wrong.

Robin Hood: The Savior of the People

Robin Hood was a socialist.  But he had good intentions.  He subverted the law and stole from the rich to feed the poor.  In his case the law had become oppressive, and Robin appeared as a thief to save them.  This is a case of stealing being a matter of opinion rather than a statement of legal fact.  Robin could rightfully argue that it was the citizens who had been robbed and he was simply getting it all back for them.  Just because something is legally stealing doesn’t mean that the action is bad.  After all, who had the power to write the law?  Was that person good or bad?  And did the people assent to it?  Kids who steal because they think they’re doing something good may or may not be right, but they are at least not the sorts of thieves who are likely to grow into career criminals.  For kids who are misguided they just need a little education.  No need to freak out.

Prince John: The Bully who was Legally not a Thief

People who steal for personal gain with disregard for the feelings or safety of others are bullies.  Prince John and other Cleptocratic regimes have the power to shape laws for their own benefit.  They are clearly the baddies.  It’s sad to say it, but some kids are destined to lead crooked lives.  One sign of that destiny is a kid’s inclination to bullying.  Bullies see nothing wrong with knocking someone down for some lunch money.  They’ll walk into a store and, without blinking, steal whatever they want.  They are kids who have a sense of entitlement that drives them to disrespect their surroundings.  If not stopped they are the ones who will grow up to be congressmen (that was only sort of a joke).  They’ll either be thugs or they’ll find ways to make their thieving legal.  The point is that they have a complete disregard for others.  These kids are the ones to truly worry about.  But the percentage of these types of kids is tiny.  Most of us should just worry about protecting ourselves from them rather than becoming them.

The Curious Thief

The huge majority of kids are not Robin Hood and they are not members of congress.  They are just kids who are not old enough to know better or who know better but who are experimenting, nervously, with stealing.  I remember the first time I stole anything.  It was a Hello Kitty eraser from the mall.  I didn’t even want it (it was pink), but I stole it just because I wanted to know if I could.  I could. I didn’t get a thrill out of it.  It was curiosity and nothing more.  It was over as quickly as it began.  I’m not going to go into detail about other things I have stolen!  The curious thief is nothing to worry about because 99% of kids know they’ve done wrong and don’t want to do it again.  There are of course people who become addicted to stealing, and those people need professional help.  Teach kids a bit of business finance and they might understand better how stealing that eraser might hurt the business owner.  They’ll see it differently then.

There are lots of reasons why people steal.  Sometimes we do it because the laws are unjust.  Usually, at least with kids, it’s that they aren’t old enough to know it’s wrong.  Remember that kids’ brains are self centered until about 5 or 6 years old; they are incapable of understanding that it’s wrong to take something just because they want it.  Older kids might steal something because they’re experimenting.  They might want to know what the thrill is like or even if they have it in them to steal.  It’s all a passing phase and it isn’t anything to fret about.  The only cases in which parents need to be fearful is when a kid is a bully or who is so sneaky that they can’t be trusted.  Stealing is a matter of perspective.  It’s a legal term more than it is an ethical one.  Teach kids good ethics and the rest sorts itself out.

No related posts.