Almighty Dad | A stay at home dad blog

I am not an expert potty trainer for all kids because I don’t think there is such a thing.  I’m pretty sure it’s not anything like the dog whisperer.  What I do know is that I got lucky and both my kids accomplished it with minimal travail.  I dealt with the occasional accident in public and a few days of my boys not making it to the toilet in time, sure.  But, I can’t say that I saw it as anything other than a shift in routine; instead of changing diapers I took the kids to the toilet.  It was different but certainly not painful.  And, maybe it was my method and maybe it was luck.  There are parents apparently who go though great pains to get their kids to sit on the toilet (Pee pee in the potty….A Dairy!).  Other parents are experimenting with new techniques that I have never before seen, like this family, Baby Darius.  When all is said and done parents have to do what feels right and what works.  There is no sense in doing something that is overly arduous for parents or that puts the kid through too much anguish.  Here’s how I did it.  Who knows if it’s dumb luck or spectacular parenting?  Not me. 

Let the Kid Watch

Before kids I had some modesty.  I’m afraid those days are gone.  I must admit to a certain amount of luck in this department because I have two boys and I, a guy, am the primary care-giver;  It was convenient.  The kids seemed to get the basic idea pretty quickly.  I used to talk to them about it and explain step by step the procedures so they would understand what to expect.  They were both curious and seemed to absorb it all quickly.   The two remaining steps were easier because of this long build-up phase.

Don’t Push the Issue

Kids have varying levels of fear when it comes to potty training.  Some kids are scared that they’ll get sucked down the drain, and some children are scared of failure.  My kids never expressed to me their specific hang ups with potty training, and it didn’t really matter anyway.  I relied on nature to tell them when they were ready to give it a shot.  One day they just said “I have to pee”, and we went to do it.  It took them a bit longer to build up the courage to go number two.  Eventually though, they tried – and tried, and they did it.

Practice Makes Perfect

This is where we have to expect accidents and keep our cool when said accidents occur.  Every parent has their stories, and I am no exception.  There was the infamous Navy Pier incident, the bowling alley fiasco, the children’s museum mess, and the merry-go-round emergency.  I can’t remember any others, and all of those happened within a week or two of removing the diapers.  My technique was to transition rapidly from diaper to underwear while skipping the pull-up phase.  I simply removed the diaper one day when they seemed ready and watched the results.  It was touch and go for 3 days (or so), but after that initial uncertainty the rest was just the typical, few and far between, random accidents.  It was a matter of mastering their body signals, and after they got the hang of that the rest was easy.

Potty training is quite a traumatic experience for some kids.  I can’t explain why that is.  I have read that kids fear the toilet for a variety of reason and I believe the key to overcoming that fear is to make it a part of everyday life.  Allowing the kids access to watch is probably the biggest factor in removing the fear.  After they feel confident enough to attempt the toilet by themselves it is a matter of not forcing the issue and allowing them to practice what they have already observed.  We have to expect that there will be accidents and that things will not run smoothly every time.  Those of us who have been through it can only authoritatively give one piece of advice.  That is that no two experiences will be the same.  In one way or another there will be hang-ups, accidents, and a few ashamed tears.  Oh, well.  Life goes on.

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