Let Them Play!
By: Keith
My boys do gymnastics. While it is physical activity, which is good, it isn’t free play. Free play with other kids is a necessary part of child development. There is an article in the Boston Globe that is reporting on the need for kids to have unstructured play. Apparently kids lack the imagination these days to be able to play with other kids without supervision. As an emergency measure, because the schools recognized the problem, they have hired professionals to come teach the kids how to play. I read that, and I said “No way! How stupid!” But it isn’t stupid. There are studies that correlate improved test scores with free play. Since the kids have lost the ability to have unstructured play, it has become necessary to reeducate them in the art of play. Seems stupid, yes. My thought is that at least the schools recognize that something needs to be done, and they’re doing something. The alternative would be that they ignore the problem and continue to allow the kids to founder. Read it for yourself and I think you’ll have the same reaction.
Free Play
I’ve talked before about kids having free play. In that article I did not emphasize the importance of having a diverse group of kids to play with. I’ll admit that, because I home school, I have to be especially careful to give my boys access to free play with other kids. I like to think they have fun playing with me, but I know they need more. They need kids with whom they can do crazy things and learn without the interaction of adults. I had that experience with two friends during my childhood, Chris Larrabee and Dennis Yu. We did things that we never could have gotten away with around our parents. So much of life is gleaned by experimentation. If I tell my boys, every step of the way, what they ought to be doing they might get it right, but they will not have used their imaginations to solve the problem. They need to have that childhood curiosity kick in that compels them to try new methods. Who knows, they might discover some great new, well, something (my mind is so static that I can’t think of the same possibilities).
Gotta let Go
It’s hard for parents to let go. We even have a term now for parents who can’t let go. It’s called helicopter parenting. It involves parents managing every small aspect of their children’s lives in an attempt to assure them success later in life. I attribute this tendency to the increased emphasis on standardized tests. Parents, and teachers, know that if they can teach kids to perform for just 3 hours on a test that they’ll get into a good college, advance to the next level, have respect. What they fail to recognize is that while they are assuring short term success by artificially enhancing their children’s test scores, they are doing permanent damage to their kids’ ego – their sense of themselves. I contend that it is better to fail on your own terms than it is to succeed by following a predetermined formula. 
Free play falls right into this category. Parents who want their kids to be the next Bart Connor, Michael Phelps, Serena Williams – whatever, are running the risk of producing inferior quality human beings. For every successful Michael Phelps there are hundreds of kids who burned out along the way and who carry permanent emotional damage. It isn’t worth it.
Letting kids play on their own terms helps cognitive development (Increased test scores with the addition of free play). It helps emotional development in that it is the first steps in the inevitable separation from parents. In short, free play with many other kids prepares kids to lead independent lives. They might fail, but even failure is healthy when it happens to someone with a healthy self awareness. They will have the creativity to pick themselves up and try something new. Don’t be a helicopter parents. Don’t stifle creativity with too much structure. I have to be equally aware of that tendency. It’s something I will have to deal with more and more as my boys grow.
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Is it really because they have forgotten or are not allowed? If they are being re-taught isn’t that structured? Imagination is in danger from too much electronic pollution.
I’m so glad that my oldest has a great imagination. However, I do struggle with getting her to use it, and explore and find new things. But like you said about being around other kids, when she’s with her best couple of friends, that’s when she really let’s her hair down. Indeed, there is only so much that a parent can do on this front.
.-= Scott´s last blog ..Deprogramming Your Children =-.
This reminds me of an experiment my kids and I conducted several years ago. We agreed to put the t.v.’s away for at least a month or two and see what the result would be. After the schooling was done on the first day of no t.v., my kids asked me what they should do.”I don’t know,” I responded. “Go outside and play!”
After a few minutes, I looked into the backyard and saw the four of them aimlessly wandering around the yard. Forty five minutes later, they were still doing the same thing. I swear to God, it looked like a scene out of Dawn of the Dead, lifeless zombies with vacant expressions walking circles toward nowhere. It was then that I realized that they had forgotten how to play! Thankfully it was only a matter of days before I witnessed a resurgence and blossoming of imagination and spirit of fun. But it did have me spooked there for a moment. Good post!
.-= Brian´s last blog ..Your Child’s Possessions =-.
Scott, you’re right. Kids tend to come out of their shells around their friends. That’s when we get to see what they’re really made of
Thanks for visiting!
Brian, I love that experiment. “Lifeless zombies with vacant expressions walking in circles…” HA. yeah, that about sums it all up. Glad to hear they snapped out of it
Maybe I ought to try a similar experiment.
Mom, I guess, yes they are having structured reeducation on how to be unstructured. Hmmm, like i said, at first it sounds ridiculous. What the educators are trying to do is to facilitate this playtime so that the kids will be prepared to take over for themselves. I find it funny what it is taking adults to teach kids how to play. Sorta weird, but fascinating at the same time.
La tendencia es “programar” a los niños para que “respondan” adecuadamente antes las diversas situaciones de la vida. Lo que olvidamos es que los niños, como todos, aprenden a través del ensayo y el error, de la experimentación, aprenden haciendo. Y cortarles todo tipo de iniciativa y estimulación de su imaginación es quitarles la capacidad de crear y generar su propio aprendizaje.
Lu
.-= Lu´s last blog ..La carrera =-.
Estás en lo cierto Lu, hay que tener mucho cuidado en no ser sobreprotectores y acaparadores. Si no les damos a los niños su espacio y la oportunidad de aprender por sus propias experiencias – con fallos y triunfos, entonces ellos no van a ser unos adultos maduros y capaces de ser independientes. Gracias por tu visita y tu comentario.
Late to this post, but BRAVO! My kids – now teens – were among the few in our neighborhood and school who were NOT scheduled in round-the-clock activities from the time they were little. I wanted them to play. “Just” play. At whatever they chose. And they did – with pots and pans, sticks, legos, drawings, cards, board games, bits of wire and computer components, then computerized drawings, photography, filmmaking… yes, filmmaking! Online, and without special software! THEY figured out how to do it, not me, and watching what they had come up with was fascinating.
As they got older (4th grade, 5th grade), clear interests had emerged, and I allowed each to pursue one activity, or possibly two – again, compared to every day of the week and often weekends, in the case of their friends. Even this summer, at 16 and 17, I made sure they had unsupervised “play” time. That’s a scarier proposition when they’re teens – believe me. But I also think it’s the only way they fully develop a sense of who they are, and own themselves.
Great post.
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Time spent online: symptom, solution, or nothing new? =-.