Free-Range Kids
By: Keith
I talked about this a bit in the past, about kids having the freedom to make their own mistakes. This week I found a book called “Free-Range Kids”. The following article is a brief synopsis of the book and is what has really sparked my interest in this subject.
There is an emerging philosophy about parenting that seeks to undo the paranoia that has evolved over the past 25 years or so. The media and baby product safety advocates have turned us into overprotective parents who believe that even a minor hazard is akin to a looming major disaster. We see boogie men around every corner thanks to a few violent acts against kids which get picked up by the national media outlets. We get pelted 24 hours a day with news from 3 major outlets, a dozen cable news sources and now twitter and other social networking sites. Information gets passed so quickly that it cannot be avoided. There is such a thing as information overload. But, worst of all, it is the same news repeated over and over again. There is surprising little variety. What we do get is mostly negative and sensational. Is anybody surprised that we’re paranoid people?
We also spend countless mindless hours watching commercials about baby products that will make our kids safe. These hours watching TV are insidious because we don’t notice that we are being methodically brainwashed into believing our parenting is not good enough, that we need help in the form of a particular safety device. I have not read the book yet, but I have ordered it here: Free-Range Kids book on Amazon. I anticipate being vindicated in my belief that most baby products are useless pieces of crap and that the news is tilted toward sensationalism to an unnatural degree.
When we were kids we roamed free all day in the neighborhood without any worries. Times have changed, that’s true – there are more people in the world than there were 25 years ago. I do not believe though that the increase in people translates to a more unsafe environment. This leaves us with a question. Either our parents were incredibly naïve and stupid for allowing us to run free or we are incredibly naïve and stupid for buying into the advertising and news hype about the dangers of living. I tend to believe the later. What am I doing to change my lifestyle? Not much really.
My kids are still only 6 and 5 years old. Even from a liberal parenting perspective that is too early to allow them to roam free. We are however starting to test the waters. Our local park is 5 blocks from our house. I recently started allowing my 6 year old to go ahead alone without me while I walk leisurely several blocks behind. I taught him to cross the street by himself and to be careful with cars and other pedestrians. I am not surprised that he has reveled in this small amount of freedom and has taken his responsibility quite seriously. I can already see that he thrives with independence.
When we go shopping I allow both kids to fetch items for me and bring them back to the cart. One of them might go for milk while the other scurries away for bread. I see the pride in their faces for having the responsibility to behave like adults. As a result, as with crossing the street, they take the responsibility to heart and try to bring the items they know we normally buy. That being said though, I can’t say I haven’t been brought the occasional bag of Doritos.
This philosophy of “Free-Range Kids” is not new. Our parents practiced it as did every generation before them. Our generation is different. We are faced with an explosion of media and news that is pressed to amaze us at all hours of the day and night. The news has transformed from need-to-know into sensational drivel that is entirely dependent on tragedy to stay in business. In a relentless push to get us to spend more money baby product companies have thrown out all sense and have stooped to fear mongering to drive sales. How else do we explain homes that are so baby proofed that even adults cannot navigate their homes without an instruction manual? It’s true, we have fallen prey to fear and our kids are paying the price – with their freedom. I think it’s time to get on board and reverse that trend.
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You are right about us parents becoming more overprotective of our kids nowadays. Probably it’s because we are having one or lesser children (at least for our case in Singapore), thus making them more valuable to the parents.
I’m not sure if I will allow them to travel to places a few blocks away when they are 5 or 6 years old, especially when traffic is involved. I always have this worry if they will be knocked down by vehicles, especially by bicycles, since we are seeing increasing number of reckless cyclists here.
The supermarket method sounds great though; I’ll be sure to try that out when our son is older. Indeed a very good way to build up their confidence and independence. ^^
But..but…but..my kids look GOOD in bubble wrap!
I quite Lenore Skenazy and her take of raising children. I have travelled the world and seen all sorts of parenting but it seems that those in the third or developing world have it right, or perhaps I don’t see things quite right. Children are rather indestructible and coupled with an innate sense of what will damage them as long as we don’t smother them in the first 10 years of life. If we do that they have a better chance of surviving the teens.
.-= K Rispin´s last blog ..Teaching Your Child Commitment – Part II =-.
Quite right you are. Kids are much more resilient than we adults are. They can cope with more than we give them credit for. The sooner they can learn to think quickly and adapt to their environment the better off they will be. Thanks for the visit, guys!
To L Skenazy
I saw your interview on the ABC the other day and thought GREAT. When I was a boy in school holidays my friends and I used to explore our area.We would get together early and get home before dark.As long as we came home in one piece and no broken bones we were allowed out the next day.At the time even when you were a kid everybody in your community sort of knew everybody else.As I was told years later that the area I lived in was one of the most crime ridden and violet areas.But I had Some of my best childhood memories exploring the area with my mates