BLEEEEP!¡Biiiip! ¡Groserías!
By: Keith
I don’t feel guilty, not even a little. I don’t swear much and neither do my kids. However, when I do something stupid, or any number or other exciting sorts of things, I swear. Isn’t that what normal people do? It’s only natural that my kids talk like me. As such I don’t get upset when I hear the occasional “Shit” come out of their mouths. Who cares? Aren’t there more important things to worry about like reading and math? Besides, some of the finest literature in the world is full of swears. It’s part of our language and it peppers things up a bit. When I hear too much swearing I know it. It typically comes from under-educated people who lack the vocabulary to use more diverse words. There’s another kind of cursing that doesn’t substitute vulgarities for more useful words, it’s the kind that adds flavor and depth to sentences. Sometimes it even adds humor. Should we be prudes about words? I don’t think so, not as long as we can all understand each other and not sound like idiots.
Religion
Some people need to get off their high horse. The church that I used to go to was an Independent Baptist Church in Oklahoma. I can’t say it was a bad experience because I learned a lot and met some very decent and good people. There were times though that I had to watch what I said because I knew I would offend someone with my language. It felt repressive, and it was. I had stuff on my mind that I couldn’t say because it required language that was unacceptable to many people. It really boils down to a free speech issue. Unfortunately there are people who are very easily offended, and these people mass together in society. They become giant obstacles that we must steer around or risk being scorned. Like I said, I met some good people, but I could not be myself around them and that’s a shame. I had to go elsewhere. I want my kids to feel free to express themselves even if that means they have to offend some folks along the way.
Language Police
There are others – the school marm types, who say using any profanity at all amounts to poor education. Where’s the evidence? These are the same people who also say we must use perfect grammar or we’re stupid. I guess they haven’t heard that English is a constantly evolving language. The way we speak it now will not be how it’s spoken 100 years from now – Humbug! Now, as with swearing, grammar can get so bad that it is unintelligible and really does make the user seem retarded. There is a point where swearing and bad grammar turn from colloquial charm to just plain dumb. Where’s that point? We know it when we see it.
My kids, at times, sound a lot like me. If that means they swear sometimes then I don’t have a problem with that. But, like with most things, it can be overdone. In the case that profanity becomes rude then a scolding would be in order. Swearing does not equal rudeness in the same way that being an inconsiderate ass can be accomplished without profanity. That’s my opinion about that.
Yo no me siento culpable, ni siquiera un poco. No digo muchas groserías ni tampoco mis hijos. Sin embargo, cuando hago algo estúpido, o un montón de otras cosas excitantes, a veces, digo groserías. ¿Acaso no es eso lo que la gente normal hace? Es natural que mis hijos hablen como yo. Y por lo tanto no me enojo con ellos cuando ocasionalmente escucho el típico “shit” de sus bocas. ¿Y, a quién le importa? ¿Qué acaso no hay cosas más importantes por las cuales preocuparnos como el que lean bien y sepan las matemáticas? Además, algunas de las obras literarias más finas en el mundo están llenas de groserías. Es parte del lenguaje y le da sabor a las cosas. Yo sé cuando he escuchado demasiadas groserías. Y típicamente se trata de personas sin educación quienes no tienen el vocabulario suficiente como para usar una más variada selección de palabras. Pero también existe otro tipo de groserías que no substituyen las vulgaridades por palabras más útiles, es la clase que le da sabor y profundidad a las oraciones. Y algunas veces hasta añade sentido del humor. ¿Acaso debemos ser mojigatos con las palabras? Yo no lo creo, al menos no siempre y cuando podamos entendernos el uno al otro y no nos oigamos como idiotas.
La religión
Algunas personas necesitan bajarse de su caballo alto. La iglesia a la que yo solía asistir era una Iglesia Bautista Independiente en Oklahoma. No puedo decir que haya sido una mala experiencia porque aprendí mucho y conocí gene muy decente y buena. Pero había ocasiones en las que yo tenía que poner atención en lo que decía porque sabía que podía ofender a alguien con mi lenguaje. Me sentía reprimido, y lo era. Yo tenía ideas en mi mente que no podía decir porque requerían de un lenguaje que no era aceptado por la mayoría de las personas ahí. Realmente todo se resumía a la libertad de expresión. Desafortunadamente existen personas que se ofenden fácilmente, y estas personas pesan en sociedad. Se convierten en grandes obstáculos que debemos eludir o ser regañados por. Como lo dije antes, yo conocí a gentes muy buenas, pero no podía ser yo mismo alrededor de estas personas y eso es una lástima. Así que me tuve que ir a otra parte. Yo quiero que mis hijos sientan la libertad de poder expresarse, aun si durante su camino otras personas se sienten insultadas.
La policía de la lengua
Existen otros – de tipo de maestro estricto, quienes dicen que cualquier uso de groserías o profanidades es el resultado de una pobre educación. ¿Dónde está la evidencia? Estas son las mismas personas que también dicen que debemos utilizar una gramática perfecta o de otra manera somos estúpidos. Yo digo que estas personas no han escuchado que el Inglés es un idioma en constante evolución. La manera en la que ahora hablamos no es la misma en la que se va a hablar dentro de 100 años — ¡Tonterías! Al igual que con las groserías y palabras profanas, la gramática puede ser tan mala que no podemos entender lo que se dice y en verdad hace que la persona que esta halando suene como un retardado. Existe un punto en el que el hablar con groserías o el hablar con mala gramática cambia de encanto coloquial a plena tontería. ¿Y en dónde está ese punto? Lo sabremos cuando lo veamos (u oigamos).
Mis hijos, a menudo, se oyen igual que yo. Si eso significa que a veces digan groserías, yo no tengo ningún problema con eso. Pero, al igual que con la mayoría de las cosas, no debe ser hecho demasiado. En el caso en que las groserías se vuelvan rudos insultos, entonces sí, un regaño es necesario. El decir groserías no equivale a ser rudo de la misma manera que el ser un bastardo inconsiderado puede ocurrir sin la necesidad de palabras obscenas. Esta es mi opinión acerca de este tema.
Swearing, to me, is verbal punctuation and it’s especially funny from kids.
There’s also the intent. I’ve noticed kids using words they don’t understand just for effect or to copy somebody in a familiar situation because (a) it makes them feel grown up, or (b) leads to them getting attention that they’re craving for, or (c) they think it’s fun. No matter how much you shield your kids, they *will* be exposed to profanity and a somewhat incorrect usage of language. If they don’t mean to swear and are merely doing it for fashion, don’t even bother correcting them. It’s a fad that’ll pass quickly since it’s not making them look cool and get the attention. And for language, promote correct usage by re-phrasing sentences and letting them decide which one makes more sense to them. Over time, they’ll pick up the correct style.
This sort of discussion (your post) always brings me to “Literate Vs Educated” argument aka “A degree doesn’t mean you’re educated” discussion point. One must always choose where one opens their mouth though since those who believe their rhetorical beliefs are grounded logical conclusions based on experience and wisdom of generations have an uncanny ability to make one yearn for the satisfaction of arriving at a conclusion after pounding one’s head on a concrete wall.
.-= Abhay Kushwaha´s last blog ..A Polling Booth for 10 Voters =-.
My thoughts exactly!!!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Mickey Mouse Is Real, He Blinks His Eyes! =-.
I agree, if your kids can’t so much as say oh shit in front of you then do you think they are going to be like, I am thinking of having sex ??
.-= Native_Momma´s last blog ..Wall Graphic Giveaway =-.
Abhay, You are correct! I didn’t even hit to subject of intent, but you are right. So much depends on how the kid is trying to use the word, if it’s just for attention or if he’s doing it for some reason. Oh, if only I were smart enough to understand that last bit. Pounding my head into the wall indeed!
Thanks, Abhay for the visit.
Mom, verbal punctuation is exactly what it is. Sometimes it’s just necessary to add the right amount of flavor to a sentence. Great minds think alike!
Your last post was about peeing outside and this was about shit– I LOVE it! Profanity is usually filler language for folks who don’t know how to make a point, but use it for needless emphasis– like an old person who oversalts his food or a gangster who blasts his stereo. In your case, selective profanity can really make a point. FUCK yeah!
.-= Dennis Yu´s last blog ..Check your landing pages for this =-.
Angie. See? I’m starting to say some things that border on controversial! Seems to be working out well so far! I have your blog open right now. Had no idea the disney characters could now blink!
Native Mamma, you are also correct. I think there are so many more relevant things to be worrying about than the occasions profanity. Besides, it can’t be too bad because we all do it anyway. Why deny the truth, right?
Thanks for the visit. Going to check out your graphic giveaway post…
Dennis. You just made my day! Fuck Yeah!
hahahahaha
What the Hell? I mean Hades, I mean H-E double hockey sticks. I see what you are saying here. You know me.. the woman who came from an ultra conservative, Independent Baptist background who has and still is reforming to only be conservative on the issues that count and extend grace on the rest.
OK…ok…ok… this is big… so listen up! I admit to the occasional “damn”, “shit”, “ass” and even “bitch” (you can only take so much griping right?) while parenting. But what drives me crazy is when I am in Wal Mart and I hear some “parent” telling their own child things like “Dammit! Shut your fucking mouth and sit the hell down before I whip your ass kid!” And.. I have heard it. The guy (with tattoos and piercings from head to toe) saw me looking his way, with my chin on the floor and he quickly apologized and then talked to me for about a 1/2 hour about how his life had been and what had led him to that place. He then thanked me for taking the time to talk to me and told me he was really going to try to do better with his kid.
So… intent.. context.. showing respect when respect is due.. these are good things. I mean there are times I really want to open my mouth, but then there are times I realize that being quiet and being a thought a fool is better than opening my mouth and being known as one.
Joan, it’s true, respect is a huge issue. It isn’t the swearing that’s the problem, it’s the respect. And, like you rightfully point out, it starts with parents. The walmart story you tell is apt. I see a lot of those people too, the folks who can’t control themselves and unload on their kids. Now, also like you say, the kid might have had it coming and we certainly are not required to have pristine language. You and Abhay have said similar things, that context is ultimately what’s important. I agree with you. Thanks for stopping by!
That Dr Suess mock-up is a classic. Laughed my head off. I think you’ve read enough of my blog to know my thoughts on swearing. Enjoyed.
.-= Reservoir Dad´s last blog ..How To Twist a Steering Wheel into a Pretzel =-.
Thanks, Clint! I thought it was pretty hilarious too
Yeah, I think we’re pretty much on the same page on this one. Thanks so much for the visit.
.-= Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..BLEEEEP! =-.
Looks like the “controversial” topics are working well for us! Not that Mickey Mouse blinking is real racy, haha! I’m just getting warmed up over there, but my idea is working out of the gates already! http://www.whatangiethinks.blogspot.com. Plus I don’t want all my opinions to seems bitchy and complainy (is that even a word?).
Let me know if you want to guest post over there. You can pretty much say anything at all you’d like, except I’d like it to be an issue I agree with you on (that shouldn’t be hard). No pressure and no hurry!! Just wanted to throw it out there.
Love the new domain name!
Totally can relate to this post and your experiences with the church too as my sisters and I grew up in a similar environment. Our parents cussed, but we knew where the line was for us and them (I’ve heard Mom & Dad use the F word 3 times combined in my life). Two of my sisters marred pastors and they all cuss (the one just preached a sermon, “Why God Has to Kick Us in the Ass.”
Anyway, their kids asked why mom and dad could cuss but they couldn’t to which my sister explained that sometimes adults need stronger words to express how they are feeling. I thought it was a good way to put it.
When my one son would sneeze he would say “Ahhh-shit!” It took me a bit to figure out what he was doing, but finally I caught on. “I think you mean to say, Ahh-choo.’” He wrenched his face. “You mean it’s not Ahh-shit?”
.-= Clark Kent’s Lunchbox´s last blog ..Superman Doesn’t Like Cleaning Up Your Messes =-.
“Ahhh-shit!” I’m going to have to remember that! that’s good. Now that you mention it, I have only heard my dad utter the f word once or twice in my life too. Of course, I didn’t see him at work or with his friends. I wonder how much he held back on me
Thanks for the visit, Ron!
Angie, Mickey mouse blinking might not be racy, but it is damn interesting. I never picked up on that! Those are the sorts of little nuances of life that cnn never reports! HAHAHAH love it!